Think You Are Being Pushed?

What happens when you think you are being pushed? Try this fun little demonstration when you’re discussing conflict at a staff meeting: Get a volunteer, we’ll call him Jack. Stand in front of the group about two feet apart facing each other. Raise your right hand as if you were about to take an oath. Ask Jack to raise his left hand. Place your palms gently together.

Without saying another word, slowly start pushing your hand forward. What does Jack do? I bet he pushes back. When you think you’re being pushed, that’s what commonly happens.

Now, ask the rest of the group what they saw. They’ll probably respond that you were pushing, and Jack was pushing back. Ask him why he was pushing back when he wasn’t instructed to do so. He might say he didn’t want you to fall over, or, more likely, he wasn’t going to let you push him over.

…he wasn’t going to let you push him over.

We have a need for balance in life. When we feel pushed, we tend to push back. Sometimes the push is more mental than physical. We still tend to push back. That’s how misunderstandings, arguments, fights, and wars start.

Sometimes, though, we just think we’re being pushed. In our rush to judge, we might make an assumption that we’re being pushed. Then we become the pusher, instead of the pushed. Your reactions matter. When someone stresses you out, think about stress as a verb.

Do you think you are being pushed when someone:

• Frowns in your direction
• Looks right through you
• Almost cuts you off in a passing car
• Gives you a weird compliment
• Doesn’t respond to your greeting

And, if you think you’re being pushed, do you push back? Take a minute and think it through before you implement an automatic “equal and opposite reaction.” You haven’t peaked yet!