Great efforts are made to reduce or eliminate conflict. Maybe it would be helpful to change our perspective. Don’t eliminate conflict. Learn to see its benefits. Try conflict appreciation for success.
Conflict is simply the result of a difference of opinion. If you get two people together, they will usually see the same issue from different angles. Don’t stress out about it, though – think about stress as a verb.
By squelching conflict, you lose the richness and value of having the two perspectives. I learned this when my husband and I built our first house. If you’ve survived a construction project, you know that there are many questions and options that crop up along the way. These brought opportunities for disagreements. There were conflicts, arguments, and fights. But don’t eliminate conflict.
Don’t eliminate conflict; you’ll lose the richness of two perspectives.
Somehow, we agreed not to divorce over it, though. We worked through every one of those issues. And all these years later, we are still amazed at how perfectly that house worked for us. The secret was not avoiding conflict, but working through it. Try encouraging a respectful appreciation of conflict:
- Reaffirm the values behind your mutual goals.
- Review the points of agreement before proceeding to the points of contention.
- Assume a positive intention from the person who disagrees with you; we all want what we think is best.
- Instead of saying, “Yes, but…” try saying, “Yes, and…” to build consensus and cooperation.
- Refer to your own insights; try not to judge other people’s rationale.
- Understand that you won’t see eye-to-eye on every issue, and that’s OK.
- Don’t make it all or nothing, learn to give and take.
By learning to conflict with respect and good intentions, you’ll reduce stress and boost the creativity between yourself and others. Conflict appreciation can lead you to success. So don’t eliminate conflict. You haven’t peaked yet!
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