
Let’s be honest: it’s easy to work with people you enjoy. Conversations flow, trust builds quickly, and projects move forward smoothly. But leadership isn’t about choosing your crew—it’s about navigating the turbulence that comes with working alongside people who may rub you the wrong way.
The truth is, if you’re leading effectively, you will sometimes need to work with people you don’t particularly like. That’s not failure—it’s reality. And it’s a critical skill for any leader who wants to soar.
To Work with People You Don’t Like, Turn Friction into Lift
The mark of a strong leader isn’t how well you get along with your friends—it’s how effectively you work with those who challenge you. Do you find yourself avoiding certain colleagues? Do you get frustrated by personalities that clash with yours? These moments are opportunities to grow.
Here are a few ways to transform friction into forward motion:
- Separate person from behavior – You don’t have to like someone’s personality, but you can still respect their skills and contributions.
- Focus on shared goals – Keep your eye on the bigger mission. What unites you is more important than what divides you.
- Practice empathy – Ask yourself: what pressures might they be under? What motivates their behavior?
- Choose your battles – Not every disagreement deserves your energy. Save it for the issues that matter.
- Keep it professional – Courtesy and consistency build credibility, even when personal feelings don’t.
Working with people you don’t like is part of leadership. When you rise above personal friction and focus on the mission, you model resilience and professionalism for your entire team. You’ll also find that those you once struggled with often have strengths you can leverage. Remember, leadership isn’t about comfort—it’s about capacity. And you haven’t peaked yet!
Leadership is about steadiness, alignment, and perspective. I provide on-site, embedded leadership support for organizations navigating change. If that’s where you are, I’d welcome a conversation.